Spiritual Resonance II
(This is an enhanced upgrade of the March 17th talk.)
Author - Counselor - Teacher - Inspiration
Listen to Ben's teaching from ACIM Gather on PalTalk, March 24, 2007
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Lecture notes follow for First hour and Second hour.
This is not a transcript, only the lecture notes.
This talk is holographic. Even from the very beginning of the talk, we’ll find paragraphs that reflect the entire meaning of the talk just as much as the entire talk does.
In all Reality, in all the universe, in all heaven and earth, there is nothing greater than awareness, yet nothing that is so pathetically taken for granted. Awareness is God, Truth, Spirit, Christ, Your Real Self, Your True Identity, Holiness, Heaven, Love, Joy, Purity, Perfection and the totality of all Reality.
One of the most powerful spiritual principles is that your Real Self is not your ego but Truth itself, Divine Awareness being all there is. Practicing this spiritual principle can be more effective than just about anything else you could do. You might say think that practicing Love is more important and effective. And in one sense that is true. But the problem is that you can’t do anything that is beyond the limitations of your sense of identity. So any spiritual principle you practice as an ego identity is necessarily going to be limited and distorted by that identity. So if you can learn the practice of successfully shifting your sense of identity from your ego to your Real Self, you would greatly empower everything else you do, including your practice of all other spiritual principles. So that’s what I want to concentrate on in this talk. By the end of this talk, I want you to feel that shifting from ego to Real Self is the easiest and most natural thing you can do.
It would do no good if all we did was to explore an array of concepts about such a shift in identity. And so, for this talk to really be effective, we’ll need to put the ideas into practice during the talk itself, to the extent that we actually experience our Real Self. We want to move from knowing that we are Truth, to experiencing ourselves as actually being Truth. In order to do that, we’ll be approaching this in 12 very different ways and doing 7 very different meditations. And in a sense the entire talk can be received with an attitude of contemplation. To help that occur, I’d like to ask that for the duration of the talk we abstain from typing anything into the message board.
My purpose is to approach this issue in a variety of different ways so that by the end of the talk the spiritual principle of shifting identity from ego to Real Self will be very easy and natural. Imagine what it would be like if shifting your identity from ego to Real Self was something you could do easily and naturally.
And again, I intend to accomplish this by approaching the issue in 12 different ways, and by using 7 different meditations. The purpose of doing this is so that all these different approaches converge at the center of your awareness and ignite the experience of your awareness as the actual substance of God’s being.
There are two basic ways to achieve our objective, and it works best to do both. One is to climb up to an awareness of what True Identity is, and then accept that as our Real Self. And the other is to employ some method to make the ego dissolve so that the Real Self that the ego has been concealing is then revealed. Since doing both works best, that’s what we’re going to do. And sometimes we’ll be doing both at the same time.
But there will be nothing aggressive or forceful or intense or pressured in this approach because it was composed with the voice for God and will be presented as the voice for God and as it says in Chapter 5 of the Text T-5.II.7. 7 The Voice for God is always quiet, because It speaks of peace, and in Chapter 14, T-14.IX.3.2 The Atonement is so gentle you need but whisper to it, and all its power will rush to your assistance and support. So this talk is going to be, as it should be, very quiet and gentle.
This talk will both evoke direct, immediate experience, and at the same time also plant seeds in your mind that will come to fruition later on. So, in the next couple of hours, and over the next few days thereafter, as the Fact of the Divinity of your Awareness really sinks in, it will be more than a little awesome. A constellation of insights and revelations will occur. For example, you’ll experience Awareness and Divinity giving substance and meaning to each other. The meaning of your Oneness with God will be directly experienced. Your Awareness will deepen and expand. You’ll experience a Fractal sense of infinity that does not entail the imagination’s version of infinity as endless extension into space. The idea of “finding God by going within” will not only make more sense, but you’ll actually experience it. Your Awareness will encompass everything and dissolve everything into a continuum of ideas. And these are just a few of the insights and revelations that are possible.
1 To start off, let’s take a few moments to see what we can notice about awareness by simply considering what it actually is. At this point, this is going to stir up more questions than it will provide answers. But that’s to arouse your curiosity.
First of all, how is it that you are aware? How is that happening? Did you manufacture or create your awareness? What, exactly, is it anyway? What is it made of? Of what does it consist? Does it really make any sense that signals running around in our brains can cause awareness?
Notice that our awareness has no shape, no size, no extension. It doesn’t really seem to be a pinpoint. And yet it doesn’ seem to have any size beyond that either. It seems to extend to whatever it is that we’re aware of.
Notice that it really doesn’t seem to be a substance of any kind. It doesn’t seem to be made of anything. And yet it is more real than substance because without it we would never be aware of substance.
So it confounds the entire idea of materiality. Matter is so prominently substantial, and yet without insubstantial awareness all the substance of matter would be pointless.
Notice how absolutely gentle awareness is. Unless what it is aware of has something to do with force, awareness itself is absolutely gentle. T-14.IX.3.2 The Atonement is so gentle you need but whisper to it, and all its power will rush to your assistance and support.
Notice how everyone’s awareness, when considered without regard to anything one might happen to be aware of, is exactly the same for everyone. Though we might think that what we’re aware of might be special, awareness itself is never special.
Now notice how our very existence would actually have no meaning at all were it not for the fact that we’re aware of existing. Notice how we can’t even be aware of anything existing without awareness because we can’t be aware of anything existing without awareness without being aware of just that.
And now, notice that it actually in fact is the greatest thing we could ever know, because without it we wouldn’t be able to know anything. Notice that it actually in fact is greater than any other experience we could possibly have because without it we wouldn’t be able to be aware of any experience.
Of all the magnificent phenomena in the entire universe. Of all the astounding miracles you could ever imagine. None is more magnificent or astounding as our own, living awareness. Just consider for a moment how much of an astounding miracle it actually is that we are aware
And now consider this: Awareness is greater than anything else we could possibly know about God, because without it God wouldn’t be aware of anything, which would nullify everything else about God that is grand and magnificent. Try to imagine God not being aware of His own existence. Without awareness, God would be nothing. Just think about that for a moment.
So the greatest thing we can know about God is that God is awareness, because God would be nothing without awareness, just as we would. So, awareness is the one thing that is clearly essential both to us, and to God.
Notice that if we weren’t awareness in the first place, we couldn’t imagine ourselves to be something other than awareness. We have to BE awareness before we can think we’re something else. That being the case, what’s the point in thinking we’re something else?
And now consider this, can there possibly be anything more true than awareness. Just try to imagine something that is more true than awareness. Everything we can possibly know about Truth could not be known unless there was awareness in the first place to be aware of it.
W-152.3. Salvation is the recognition that the truth is true, and nothing else is true. = all = entire, total, complete, etc
So it’s clear, then, that Awareness is our Real Self.
2 Now I want to take a quick peek at what the Course in Miracles says about our True Identity. These are from Workbook lessons, so you say this to yourself:
W-224.1. My true Identity is so secure, so lofty, sinless, glorious and great, wholly beneficent and free from guilt, that Heaven looks to It to give itself light. 2 It lights the world as well. 3 It is the gift my Father gave to me; the one as well I give the world. 4 There is no gift but this that can be either given or received. 5 This is reality, and only this. 6 This is illusion's end. 7 It is the truth.
W-252.1. My Self is holy beyond all the thoughts of holiness of which I now conceive. 2 Its shimmering and perfect purity is far more brilliant than is any light that I have ever looked upon. 3 Its love is limitless, with an intensity that holds all things within it, in the calm of quiet certainty. 4 Its strength comes not from burning impulses
which move the world, but from the boundless Love of God Himself. 5 How far beyond this world my Self must be, and yet how near to me and close to God!
W-287.1. 4 What treasure would I seek and find and keep that can compare with my Identity?
W-191.5. 3 For he who can accept his true Identity is truly saved.
3 And now a peek at what Lillian DeWaters says about it:
The pure Self is the only Reality, the only Being. There is no existence apart from this Selfhood.
Where shall we look to see the Perfect only? We shall look into Pure Awareness. Pure Awareness is Heaven. We shall see the Real by the Real, and know the Divine by the Divine.
4 Ok, let’s take a moment to remember what we discovered about the nature of awareness:
Remember that amidst everything else you may believe about yourself, the one thing that is most certainly real about you is that you are aware. No matter how much what you’re aware of may be fantasy, your awareness itself always remains a reality. This awareness of yours, unlike the fantasy about being a separate self, is nothing that you could have thought up or imagined. It makes thinking and imagination possible, but it itself cannot be thought up or imagined. This Real Self of yours, your awareness, unlike your fantasy self that seemed separate from God, exists not on its own but as Truth itself – your awareness is the Presence of Truth, the Presence of God.
5 But simply understanding this is not enough. We need to experience it.
Remember we said that you were going to be learning how to shift your sense of identity from your ego to your Real Self.
And remember that we said that there are two basic ways to do that – one being to employ some method to make the ego dissolve, and the other being to climb up to an awareness of what True Identity is.
Well, that’s what we’re going to begin doing in this next meditation – we’re going to begin to shift from ego to Real Self, by allowing a facet of ego to dissolve, and then meditating on an awareness of what our Real Self actually is.
Here’s how we’re going to do that. We’re going to use forgiveness to break the habit of entertaining the fantasy that your awareness is something that exists separate from God, and then we’re going to feel what it feels like for our awareness to be the Presence of God.
First, notice that part of your ego consists of the belief that your awareness exists separate and apart from God, and that as a result you actually have been fantasizing that your awareness is something that exists separate and apart from God. Notice that the ego uses the phrase “my” awareness, as if it were your real self and awareness were something it made and owns. The greatest catastrophe in the world is how we allow our ego to deceive us about the true nature of our awareness.
Now how can we forgive ourselves for this? Of course there are a few different ways to forgive; in this meditation we’re going to use this one that we find in the Workbook:
W-pII.1.4:1,4 Forgiveness is still, and quietly does nothing . . . It merely looks, and waits, and judges not.
So let’s do just that. Close your eyes and let’s simply become still and merely look at this, without any judgment, and quietly do nothing but wait. Just look, without judgment, at how your ego thinks it owns awareness, believing it can mold it to its own self-image. In stillness, do nothing but quietly look at this without judgment, and wait.
And now tell yourself, slowly and thoughtfully, allowing the meaning of the words to sink into your mind: “I experience the Awareness that I am, to be Presence of God.” Feel what this feels like.
6 Now we’re going to take a bit of a different approach, but one that still involves letting go of judgment of the ego. I call this approach: Let it resonate or evaporate
Most of the time, most of us are feeling at least slightly less than fully Divine. But as a result of our being on a spiritual path many of us have the idea that we SHOULD be experiencing ourselves as Divine, and so we may have a negative judgment about the fact that we aren’t.
As you may have guessed, feeling less than Divine isn’t the problem. Your negative judgment about that, is. So let the judgment disappear. Always give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling, without it being strangled by a judgment. If you’ll simply accept whatever you feel, if it’s something that falls short of Divinity, it will gradually evaporate to reveal the Joy and Peace that’s always underneath.
That’s because acceptance is a form of Love. When you shine the light of Love on anything, it either resonates with the Love of which it consists, or it evaporates to reveal the Love it concealed. Judgment, on the other hand, is a form of hatred. When you spew hatred on anything, your hatred bounces back, making the thing you hate appear to be hateful.
The solution is always Love, and it’s a solution that always works. Any time you notice yourself judging yourself in any way and for any reason, gently let go of the judgment, and Love or accept yourself instead. What the judgment was about is irrelevant. Don’t waste your time giving it any attention at all. Just gently let go of judging and begin Loving. Keep it that simple.
And just as it works with yourself, it will work with everything, because everything is actually a reflection of your Self. Any time you notice yourself judging anything or anyone, let the judgment dissolve, and Love instead, or in other words, welcome and accept it instead.
This one simple practice evaporates the ego that conceals the clear, perfect harmony of your Real Self and the Perfect World it embraces. It’s so simple. And remember, simplicity is of God; complexity is of the ego.
In a recent ACIM study group Rajpur said, “you want to see the Evidence of Love - and you want to Be the Evidence of Love”
But Rajpur also once said, “When you let yourself succumb to just feeling however shitty you might feel, if you will give yourself permission to feel it, you'll get through it much faster."
In other words, you can’t allow your desire to see or be the Evidence of Love to cause you to inadvertently repress any feelings you might have to the contrary. This cannot be over-emphasized. Resisting a negative feeling will NEVER result in your becoming free of the feeling, but will instead result in the negative feeling becoming stronger and manifesting more insidiously. In order to release a negative feeling, it is essential that you give yourself permission to feel it, fully and completely, without any reservations, without any interference, without any resistance, and without any judgment.
That doesn’t mean to INDULGE in, or express, the feeling. No. You are fully aware of the fact that the reason why you are giving yourself permission to feel the negative feeling is only for the purpose of releasing the feeling. And you only need to experience the feeling for a few brief moments. If there is no interference, the feeling will arise and fall in ten to twenty seconds at most.
This is very important, because without those few short moments of giving yourself permission to feel the negative feeling nakedly or without interference, the negative feeling will not dissolve, and you’ll end up repressing it instead and in one way or another find yourself getting entangled in discordant scenarios related to the negative feeling, which is frustrating and unnecessary.
So what does all this have to do with identity? Negative feelings arise from ego. And you can’t let go of ego so long as you’re judging or resisting it. You can say that negative feelings are the nudity of the ego, rather than merely ideas about the ego that can waste your time. Deal with negative feelings, and you’re dealing with actual ego directly.
Forgiveness "is still , and quietly does nothing . . . It merely looks, and waits, and judges not" (W.pII.1.4:1,4). Our focus is on learning how to look at our egos without judging ourselves or others, for having an ego. . Practicing this as best we can will result in our gradually becoming less and less identified with our false self Judging ourselves, others, or the world is a defense that keeps our self and the world very real. no judgment = no attribution of a pretense of reality
7 OK, now we’re going to proceed to shift our sense of identity from the ego to our Real Self through a short contemplative meditation. The meditation is in the first person. Close your eyes and say to yourself:
2 My Divine Self is my awareness. There is no doubt that I am aware and that I am being, and this incontrovertible reality of my awareness owes none of its reality to any beliefs. I am clearly awareness regardless of whether I have any beliefs about awareness or not. And whereas I’ve assembled the beliefs that make up my ego, I have had no hand in creating or giving rise to my awareness, the creation of which is clearly the exclusive handiwork of God. And since all that God creates is fully invested with the Totality of God’s Nature, then my awareness actually exists as the Presence of God Expressing the Totality of God’s Nature. And since God is All there Is, I am in perfect harmony with All there Is and hence am perfectly happy. All the problems I used to have were all due to identifying with the fraudulent sense of self that constituted the ego. But now that it is clear that my Divine Self as awareness, is the only real self I have, I no longer believe the ego is who I am, thereby dissolving my commitment and allegiance to the ego, which is, as a result, gradually evaporating.
8 OK, now we’re going to explore the way in which our sense of self-identity, which I’m now going to call our assumed identity, is only one side of a coin the other side of which is the apparently external world that manifests as a consequence of the nature of our assumed identity, which I’m going to call the projected identity.
Assumed and Projected Identities
Realizing that an erroneous belief is nothing because it’s contrary to the nature of Truth or God is to nothingize the belief and thereby release us to experience Reality more as it Truly is instead of as it was distorted to appear by the erroneous belief we just nothingized. But sometimes we can find ourselves nothingizing erroneous beliefs over and over again and much to our dismay they just won’t go away. When this happens, it’s because we’ve been dealing with only one-half of the belief, like nothingizing one-half of a worm, leaving the other half to grow back the half we just nothingized. Beliefs never relate only to your self or only to your environment, but rather to the relationship that exists between yourself and your environment, the self and the non-self, the ego and the world.
However, to start off, beliefs may seem to either relate to the self or the non-self alone. At least that’s the way it will often look at first, just like a penny can at first look like it’s only heads. But just like a coin always has both heads and tails, each belief is going to have two sides to it, one relating to the self or the ego and the other relating to the non-self or the world. Each belief has an aspect of it that deals with an “assumed identity” and an aspect that deals with a “projected identity.” No identity exists in a vacuum, but rather each identity depends on the kind of world it projects. And no projection exists on its own either, but depends on the identity that projects it. Self and non-self are woven together in an integral whole. If you nothingize only the self that projects the non-self, or if you nothingize only the non-self that’s projected, the other half of the composite will grow its counterpart back.
And of course this means that if our assumed identity is our Real Self, then the projected identity is going to be the Kingdom of Heaven, except that in this case the assumed and projected identities are absolutely one. As long as there is any ego present, however, they appear to be separate, and that of course is part of the problem. And so, part of the solution is to deal with them as one, as two sides of one coin so to speak.
Usually you are initially aware only of one side or the other, either an aspect of your own identity or an aspect of the world that that identity projects, and have a vested ego-interest in keeping the other side concealed. A classic example of this is the identity who projects a world populated with what it experiences as contemptible (homos, niggers, perverts, terrorists, etc.). In these cases, the identity that projects such a world has judged certain characteristics within itself as contemptible, and in doing so, denies their existence within itself, projecting them as hateful characteristics in others. Ku Klux Klanners, for example, deny and suppress their own sensuality while finding the evidence of sensuality in black people to be intolerable. An individual with an assumed identity of being a weakling will outpicture projected identities in the form of bullies, and so on and so forth. That which is judged as evil or contemptible or perverse is often denied in oneself and projected as external. The negative judgment results in resisting the belief to the extent of repressing it and projecting it, and so because the resistance conceals that facet of identity from being available for dissolution, the dissolution is never complete and always grows back. This is why judgment and resistance always results in an aborted experience that locks the belief that caused it in place, preventing it from dissolving. The problem never was the thing we resist, rather it always was that we were resisting it in the first place, often then hiding either its assumed or projected components.
This is very simple to use. Knowing that every aspect of ego identity has both an assumed and projected component, once you’re confronted with a belief to nothingize, simply ask yourself if it relates to an assumed identity or a projected identity, and whichever it is, just look for “the other side of the coin” so to speak, and then experience them as “two sides of the whole coin,” or the whole instead of one-half of the belief, without any judgment or resistance, and let it dissolve into its status as not Truth.
3 Let’s try it. Close your eyes and select something you believe about yourself. Whatever it is, it’s an assumed identity. Let go of any judgment or resistance you may have towards it. Now see if you can notice the projected identity that results from that assumed identity, or in other words see what it attracts to you in your environment, or in other words see in what way it invites others to behave towards you, or in other words see what you believe about others as a result of having this belief you have about yourself. That’s the Projected identity. Now let go of any judgment of resistance you might have towards the Projected identity. Now notice how both the assumed and projected identity fit together as one integrated belief that has two complementary sides to it. Let go of any judgment or resistance that might remain. Then realize that this is not what you are, but simply a belief, and then let it go.
All that is required is that you go into a meditation and feel your way into the interwoven composite that constitutes the identity you feel as your “self” and its relationship to the projection you feel as “non-self.” All that matters is that you feel it on its own terms without the overlays of your judgments.
Now, as you let go of judging and resisting experience, you’ll find your life becoming more and more fluid, both in its assumed and projected aspects. And since it was only your resistance that was holding everything in place, everything now begins to flow. You begin to experience yourself as continuous infinite possibility experiencing continuous infinite possibilities. Your life becomes symphonic. You begin to experience yourself as God.
9 So, that’s the approach when the assumed identity we start with is a facet of our ego. Now let’s explore what happens when the assumed identity is our Real Self. You’ll notice that in this case the assumed and projected identity are completely one because Reality is completely one:
You are nothing less than awareness being the Presence of God. Let that sink in. Realize that this means that there is nothing in all Heaven and earth that is more Holy and Sacred than your very own awareness, because Divinity is the actual Substance of your awareness, because your awareness is actually the Presence of God’s Being.
This meditation is very similar to one that we did a little earlier.
4 Now close your eyes and tell yourself, slowly and thoughtfully, attempting to allow the meaning of the words to sink into your mind: The actual Presence of God is my awareness, my awareness is the actual Presence of God. Repeat this several times, and then attempt to feel the meaning that the words convey.
There, if you have in fact “felt” the meaning of those words, then you will indeed have just had a glimmer of an experience of your own Divinity. So your own Divinity is not as inaccessible as you might have thought. Far from being inaccessible, Divinity actually constitutes the very substance of your awareness. The more we experience the Divinity of our awareness, as assumed identity, the more we see God manifesting in our lives as projected identity.
Every time a facet of assumed and projected ego dissolves you see through it to yet another manifestation of God, complete in itself, and in the most intimate resonance with the Divinity of your awareness. Miracles increase. All that a miracle is, is a revelation of another facet of God's infinite manifestation, not only in insight, but also in the elevation of the quality of the flow of one's life as it moves more in alignment and harmony with the whole. You're life feels like its becoming symphonic. Extraordinary coincidences chime perfectly in place. Every encounter is a perfect encounter and ripe with the most extraordinary opportunities. As you leave your wake of miracles, you feel YOURSELF BEING the manifestation of God, and the manifestation of God being yourself, and hence the assumed and projected identities now being dissolved into perfect oneness. In other words, as you flow into being one perfect note in the divine symphony you find yourself feeling an absolutely intimate union with the entire symphony.
A resurrection takes place. You rise from the tomb of the mass consciousness belief in duality where the assumed and projected were dual, to live as the absolute oneness of your True Self; you rise up out of the tomb of separateness and limitation to live in the Divine Love and freedom of oneness and infinity.
10 Now we’re ready to do a meditation that is designed to lead you into the actual experience of being Truth itself far more vividly than the previous meditations.
5 Say to yourself, I AM. That’s a meaningful sentence, is it not. And you are certain of it. You have no doubt about it. But now ask yourself, Who do you believe the I is that is saying I AM? Notice the sense of self that believes it is the I. Be aware of that sense of self. Notice that you are aware of that sense of self. Now notice that it is awareness that is aware of that sense of self. Now notice that awareness is the knower and that sense of self is what is being known. Now notice that you have to be awareness itself as the knower in the first place before you can be aware of seeming to be that sense of self that is known. So notice now that what you really are is awareness and not the sense of self that you thought you were. So now identify yourself as awareness itself instead of that sense of self that you thought you were. Now feel what it feels like to be awareness itself. Make awareness itself now your sense of self, knowing yourself as awareness. Awareness aware of itself. Awareness being aware of awareness itself as awareness. Awareness aware of awareness is what the pure “I” is. Awareness aware that what it is is that it is is I AM THAT I AM. Say to yourself, I am that I am. Keep saying to yourself I am that I am letting its meaning sink in deeper and deeper. Now as you keep saying to yourself I am that I am begin to deepen your experience of what those words mean, that what you are is that you are. Now as you keep deepening your experience of the words I am that I am, let the words gradually begin to fade away until you are no longer saying I am that I am but are only experiencing the awareness of what those words mean. Now rest silently in that awareness for a few moments. Notice what purity and stillness there is in this center of yourself. Notice how clear it is that this is indeed what you truly are. Notice how easy and natural and effortless it is for you to identify as this awareness that you truly are. Notice how easy it will be to shift to awareness as your sense of identity any time you choose to do so. OK, now for a few moments, contemplate the fact that when Moses asked God who He was, God answered, I am that I am. Your awareness that I am that I am is the very substance of your divinity.
11 OK, now open your eyes and just relax for a few moments. Don’t do anything, please don’t type anything on the message board, don’t think anything, just rest for a bit in stillness and peace.
OK, at this point we have begun to experience our Real Self. But we’ve only begun to do so. Let’s proceed now with a further meditation to deepen that experience. The more fully we experience our Real Self, the more effectively its radiance will dissolve the false self of the ego’s assumed and projected identities.
So, once again, close your eyes, and say to yourself:
6 I am awareness. I am not what fills my awareness, I am not the content of my awareness, I am awareness itself, the ability to be aware of anything. I am not a body, I am the awareness that is able to be aware of a body. I am not a human, I am the awareness that is able to be aware of human identity. And now I leave behind all my concerns as a human being and I allow myself to dissolve into this pure awareness that I am. I just allow myself to slip into it like slipping into a crystal clear pool. I am not the human role I was playing in the fantasy dream of duality, I am this pure crystalline awareness, this utterly miraculous ability to know. This awareness is the very substance of God, and here it is the very substance of the I that I am. I am not human. I am not a personality. I am I. And this I that I am is God. At first I see it only as a glimmer. I feel myself still holding on to my human sense of self and my personality, but gradually, gently, I start letting go of that grip, and as I do I feel myself melting into this I of me, this absolute center of my being, this substance of beingness itself, this unfathomable miracle of awareness. I do not resist my human sense of self, I do not judge it as good or bad; it is nothing and my response to it is nothing.
It’s now clear to me that the ONE thing that is true about me AND God is that both God and I are awareness, and since God is all there is, this awareness that I am cannot be anything other than God. But that only reports what is True and where that Truth is. Now I am looking where that Truth is. And where is that? It is at the absolute center of my being. It is the most essential part of me. It is that without which I would not know that I exist. It is my own awareness itself. And as I immerse myself into awareness and let go of my attachments to anything else, I find a peace, a stillness, an absolutely tranquil delight that has no parallel to anything I feel as a human being. It is as if I have entered another world, a world of infinite, pure, crystalline, fresh, clean, radiant, formless, dimensionless, space. It’s a world more real than my dream because it is a world consisting only of pure awareness, and awareness is the only thing that ever bestowed any apparent reality to the dream in the first place. If I am not aware of the dream, it vanishes, because it never was anything in the first place. It was always only my awareness that was existing, nothing in the dream. My awareness itself, my awareness itself being only aware of its own self as awareness, is the only Reality. The dream world does not exist. It is an illusion. It has no reality.
Now, however, I am forgetting about the dream for the moment and immersing myself into reality itself, the only reality, my own unfathomably miraculous awareness. I have come before the throne of God, the holy of holies, and it is the one thing about myself that I can be certain is true about me -- that I am. I am on holy ground. The One God of all reality, absolute and infinite, is here, present, as the very core of my own being, the center of myself I refer to with the word “I”.
And in silence, in absolute stillness, I feel what it feels like for my awareness to be absolute, infinite Divinity. How much do I feel it? Just as much as I let go of my feelings of wanting to control the dream of assumed and projected ego, just as much as I let go of resisting the dream, of holding on to the dream. Just as much as I let go of my feelings of attraction or aversion to the dream. Just that much I melt into reality as the I that I am and feel what it feels like for the I that I am to be the one and only absolute and infinite God. It electrifies me. It galvanizes me. It relaxes me. It enlivens me. It overwhelms me. It enraptures me.
Now you haven’t just known what is real about you, now you have experienced it and that experience will be accessible to you at any time. Identified as awareness, you can easily be aware of assumed and projected identities with purely neutral attention, without any judgment or resistance, and without the juice of your reactivity they will gradually fade and dissolve. And all you’re doing is simply being what you are. This is why as the Course says, you need do nothing.
That’s it. The insemination is now complete. You are now pregnant with, and will soon give birth to, several Metanoias, which will occur over the next few days and weeks. Your experience of your awareness will give meaning to the notion of Divinity. Your experience of Divinity will give character and intensity to the miraculousness of Awareness. The miraculousness of your Awareness will make more and more sense in the context of it being Divine. You’ll see Awareness and Divinity give substance and meaning to each other. The meaning of your Oneness with God will be directly experienced. Your Awareness will deepen and expand. You’ll experience a Fractal sense of infinity that does not entail the imagination’s version of infinity as endless extension into space. The idea of “finding God by going within” will finally make sense. Your Awareness will encompass everything and dissolve everything into a continuum of ideas. You’ll find yourself flooded with the Love of God. Those are just a few of the insights and revelations that are possible.
But more important than any of that is the fact that you will from now on have an awareness and appreciation of the awesome, Divine, wondrous, magnificent, vivid, immediate, intimate, profound, and miraculous nature of your awareness that you’ll never forget and that will never leave you and will enable you at any time to easily and naturally shift from any ego sense of identity to your True Identity as the magnificent and divine awareness that you Truly are, and from that Real Self truly be the Presence of God in far more fullness of expression that you ever have before. The really wonderful thing is that absolutely EVERYTHING that you do from an identification with your True or Real Self will work our far, far more beautifully, gracefully, successfully, wonderfully, and beneficially than it would from an a lesser sense of identity.
That, my deeply cherished and beloved friends, is Jesus’ gift to you. I was just the delivery boy.
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