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Alexandra Lalieu
Hello, everyone! Last week, I was surprisingly invited by Dov to join with you here on PalTalk Gather.
Jesus mentioned the fact that ( if I quote the Bible correctly:) “Where two or more are gathered in My Name, there am I in their midst.“ And the Course teaches us that when that occurs, that the ego can not prevail against this joining. Therefore, in honor of this Joining of Minds, the topic that was assigned to me by the Holy Spirit is: “Love is Communication.”
This is my first time as a Guest Teacher here, but I’m not fooled by that title. Everyone here knows that title really refers to the capital G -Guest Who is really the capital T - Teacher here…also known as the Holy Spirit… and I just get to step back, take a seat, and join you for the learning that happens when we join our minds with a common purpose, OK?
First, I’ll put some of my idiosyncrasies out in the open, so you can look at them all with me. In general, I’ll tell you what to expect from me and what not to expect from me as a fellow student.
Then, I’ll go over what I believe our goals are that we all share, and you can voice your opinion whether you agree or disagree. If you would like, we can tweak them so that they harmonize with everyone here.
And finally, I share with you the deep doo doo I was about to slip and fall into if it wasn’t for the Grace of God, my Mom’s insight, and the ACIM Book we love so much.
After this, I would enjoy the opportunity to hear you if any of you have anything that causes a lack of peace or causes a celebration of peace in your life. I would be honored to be present for you with what is alive for you in the moment. To facilitate this healing, one learns to look within and find awareness that there is a solution that meets everyone’s needs, where there is no compromise necessary. This communication is from the heart, and has nothing to do with what we think we think. It helps remove the emotional blocks to the awareness of the inherent solutions. Remember, this is effective while we still believe we are here in a body that has needs… we’ll find that all human being have needs. Once we are able to admit that we have needs, we begin to realize that all of our needs can be met through awareness of the Love of God hidden deep within, and none of our needs can ever be met by seeking outside of ourselves in this world of illusion. That’s the big picture view from Above the Battlefield.
So before we start talking about love, in the light of true communication, I’m going to warn you in advance: I’m ruthless in my honesty with myself when it comes to dealing with my illusions. This program is not for the “But I like my life the way it is!” crowd…I don’t tiptoe around illusions in my living room and pretend they don’t exist. I’ve had it with denial. Every single illusion that comes into the crosshairs is fair game to me. Just so you know: that includes all aspects of myself, too. If that offends you, sorry in advance. Please feel free to listen to someone else who thinks this world is a perfectly nice place to live. I don’t. That’s why I really want to wake up.
Also, please do not expect anything novel or original to come from me. Everything I’m going to say has been said before by at least one other person before me. Most of you have heard it all before, over and over. I do promise you one thing: That, in between yawns, you’ll have lots more fun laughing at my ego than I will. Bummer. Oh, well. Just my luck. At least, if you folks look at it with me, it’ll go “poof” quicker, right?
I am not an expert at remembering what people say or do, accurate dates, events in my own or others‘ lives, or lengthy Course quotations, unless I’m Given this information by the Holy Spirit. I find myself in Oneness of Purpose, but get lost in details, so please don’t tempt me, ‘cause I‘ll fall for it.
I am remembering Marianne Williamson’s comforting advice to those who forget things a lot: she said something to the effect of… You may forget more details than you used to… but now you can go deeper than you used to. If anyone can find her exact quote, that’ll be nice… I think it’s from her CD Audio: Ten Bridges of Transformation…
I also don’t remember names well. I’m in the process of giving up my attachment to the importance of my own name, which to me is a symbol of separation and specialness - so why should I do you an imaginary ‘disservice’ by remembering yours? O.K. O.K., I’ll remember names if they are useful for the process of communication…. otherwise, be patient, and if you’re attached to your name, just keep reminding me.
Now let me communicate something very important to you, and therefore, to myself, as well. Please know that I love you more than words can say, and I will always remember how loving you are, and I’ll always do my best to see your intent, your feelings and your needs. I love to show appreciation for your wonderful Divine attributes and talents.
Love is Communication. The true communication that sees you as Divine Love. That knows you can do no wrong in Spirit! That’s forgiveness. Those are some of the ideas worthy of being shared.
Now I’ll share with you what I believe are our two common goals:
Once again, if you are so guided, you are welcome to voice your opinion.
Our short term goal is to realize we can watch this movie of our life with Jesus in the chair next to us, giving us ’play by play’ running commentary on everything we see so that we don‘t get afraid, or too satisfied with the perishable, transitory illusions of this world. .. And then having Him remind us to forgive ourselves for really believing it was even real.
(opinions?)
Our long term goal is to keep our mind focused on the Truth…not to keep trying to find a better movie, one we like better, or that gives us what we believe we want …., but to finally trust and believe Jesus when He tells us that if we want to be really happy, and know our true power which is free of all limits…. Then its time to leave the theater altogether - into full Son-light, into the Eternal Love of God. Forgiveness is the process, the vehicle that will take us into this awareness, of course!
(opinions?)
Psst! You know what? I’ll tell you a little dark secret: I’m not ready to leave the movie theater yet.
This is why I am, and forever will be, a humble student of A Course in Miracles. I am communicating to you with the intent of connecting with you through the Idea of Love. I am really One Spirit, who forgot to laugh at the tiny, mad idea that maybe I can do some stuff on my own, separate from God? and so I’m dreaming that I have a separate little body which was named Alexandra Lalieu. In my dream, this body seems to be solid flesh and is speaking to you in this room. I look forward to waking up from my dream so I can remember that you are no different from me - that we are His One Holy Son, and in His Mind we never left the Love of our Father. It gives me such fulfillment to receive from the Holy Spirit through the sharing of His ideas… and every time I have the privilege of connecting with the love in you, my brothers and sisters, I feel a little more whole, a little more aware of who we are together, and a little less convinced that the ego has something to offer me that God doesn‘t.
I didn’t always have this belief. In fact, I didn’t even realize I had an ego problem. 13 years ago, my life was just fine and dandy, thank you. I was 25, and was hopelessly infatuated with a man who I believed to be my soul mate. I believed he was enlightened because he had spiritual abilities (although I had never seen him move anything with his mind with his telekinesis, he kept talking about all kinds of spiritual things… and he had me convinced he could teach me everything I always wanted to learn how to do. ) So, our dream was to ascend together in Divine union. I had never been married, and neither had he…but 11 years my senior, he already had 5 children. That was fine with me, because we were so in love we were already communicating telepathically… and I believed I was about to re-unite with my Soul’s other half.
Flash back to two years earlier. I was working teaching at a karate school during the week, and as cashier at a restaurant on weekends. I was reading all kinds of spiritual books at that time. One evening, at the restaurant, Mr. Bill McCreary (then newscaster of TV channel 5) came in with his wife, O‘Kellon McCreary, who also happened to be in a wheelchair. After their meal, his wife, saw me reading (a white book written my Ramtha), and what kinds of books did I like? I said I love metaphysical & spiritual books. She asked if I had ever read A Course in Miracles. When I said No, I haven‘t, she started to tell me about it and how much it had helped her in her life.
The next time she came to the restaurant, she had brought a copy and asked if I would like to borrow it, and I said sure, Thank you. She said - no hurry to return it… enjoy and you can return it whenever you are done with it. The next day, I began reading in it, and by the time I got to Chapter 2, I had read enough. This is too “religious”…not for me, I thought, and put it on the shelf.
Flash return to two years later… I am so in love with my new finance, I decide to organize my life a bit better… return things I had borrowed from people, etc. I saw the Course on my bedroom shelf and decided it was about time to return it to Mrs. McCreary. I said to my Mom, are you interested in taking a look at this book I borrowed before I return it to its owner? She said Sure, I’ll take a look at it. That night Mom started reading it, and could not put it down. Know that at that time, my Mom was absolutely devastated when I had told her about my relationship with this man. When I had introduced him to her, 6 months earlier, she was NOT impressed and told me so. He is no match for you! How is he going to take responsibility for all of his children if he leaves their mother, he’s not even married to her! My Mom cried herself to sleep every night, and begged me to reconsider, but I would not listen. I was convinced that this man was an avatar and that he was my ticket to spiritual mastery and enlightenment.
She would read in the Course for hours, then one night before supper she brought the Book over to me and said: If you will read this, you will understand why I feel the way I do about your relationship.” Well, it was page 317 in the Text: Chapter 15, Section 7: The Needless Sacrifice. Quote:
“Beyond the poor attraction of the special love relationship, and always obscured by it, is the powerful attraction of the Father for His Son.”
At this point, I took the open Blue Book, and told her I wasn’t hungry anymore and needed to excuse myself and go to my room to be alone. I closed the bedroom door and sat on my bed and continued reading…Quote:" There is no other love that can satisfy you, because there is no other love. … (will read out loud to group also, up to paragraph 3 on same page. This is what I read up to in order to reach my insight.)
Oh, my, God! Is that what I am doing in this relationship? If that is what the ego is doing, then I choose GOD! It was so much clearer to me now! In that holy instant, I chose GOD over the ego.
When I came out of my room about 20 minutes later and told my Mom that I decided to end this ego’s special relationship and serve only God, she exploded with joy, and hugged me with tears of relief. She cried “Thank God! You really heard my prayers! I’ve been praying for this miracle for my daughter ever since I met that man. Thank You, God!” We both were so relieved! The very next day, I told that man what had happened and he was speechless in disbelief. “Are you sure about this, now?” He then asked me, “You are really choosing between me and God?“ As he pointed to the empty chair next to his, “OK then, what will it be?”
I said, with determination: “I Choose GOD. I love you too much to continue this ego-based path with you.”
He continued: “Well, if that is your decision, I will go. Just be happy. If you ever change your mind, I‘ll be here.” And he got up and left. He looked back. We waved goodbye. I think I saw tears in his eyes. But there were none in mine… because I had finally found my God and my Path.
At age 19 I started studying Linda Goodman, Manly P. Hall, Joe Hyams, Gichin Funakoshi, Ramtha, Richard Bach, Carlos Castenada, Dan Millman, Yogananda Paramahansa, Hwang Kee, later… A Course in Miracles, Kenneth Wapnick, Helen Shucman, Tara Singh, Joseph Campbell, Deepak Chopra, Maryanne Williamson, Lao Tsu, Carolyn Myss, Gavin DeBecker, Wayne Dyer, Eckart Tolle, Rumi, Louise Hay, David Hawkins, Ghandi, Ramana Maharshi, Marshall Rosenberg, Gary Renard, and back again to the Course, this time seriously and with full dedication!!!
Isn’t our ego like an addiction?
My name is Alexandra Lalieu and I am addicted to my belief in separation. I admit, that in my ego state, I am powerless over my illusions. However, as a student of A Course in Miracles, I am here to learn a better way, because I have come to believe that a Power greater than my own separate self can restore me to sanity.
I have invented the world I see. Wkbk. Lesson#32
Love, Alexandra Lalieu
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